Raining Petals

It was raining red and pink petals of roses, when I requested your company in the carriage. Strong was the scent of the beautiful blossoms.

You held my hand tightly, tightly as I paid for our horse and carriage. Squeezing it afraid to return to the confusion of our past, wondering if it would hurt... If this time it would last... I offered comfort and assurance this was just a way home. 

We would dine and dance; only tonight not alone. 

Of course I love you! But only as a friend. We were children wishing  before now... but not ever again. 

People from our past watched as we fell into our oh so natural groove. Knowing each other too well with nothing to prove. I ordered your food. You chose my dessert. We danced so very close... with temptation it seemed we did flirt...but we knew for a certainty no future was involved we enjoyed our time as the moon revolved. 

The clock began to strike here came the end of night. We walked slowly to the carriage...You whispered in my ear a secret. I promised to keep it. Just know I felt the same. 

The White Tower

In the old gold car I rode as a passenger. With company bad for me.. destination unknown but certain to be dangerous. Parked in front a tall white tower and left alone.

When the taking was long down came a devil-man to thieve. He reached inside the old car to take whatever he could and took me. Still I protected the cars contents. I don't remember the ride to the 12th floor. I just remember the room. Familiar,  dresser and bed pictures on the wall. 3 visitors came and went whilst a devil-man described me. Was I hostage? No,  but had I stayed I knew I'd regret not speaking up. "I need the elevator!" I spoke. "This way" I was told... I boarded the crowded lift and pressed a floor.. strictly from fear 12 ...the floor I was on. The light turned off. 8 was pressed by a rider then 4 was pressed by a rider then 1 was pressed by me. The elevator passed all floors and went straight to 1. But the doors did not open. The elevator began to malfunction up to 8 it went... back to 4 but the doors never opening. Then higher than 12 or ever before. I felt the elevator snap and then swing. Everyone was calm but me. The devil-man who took me high up spoke of my character while we took the elevated journey: "She is wise, kind and fat."

The devil-man was  7ft and large.. I said to him "You have no room to speak"... he laughed. The elevator plummeted to the basement floor finally opened the doors to a dark shaft room. Walls and floor painted black. The riders filed out with no fear. I followed the crowd into a diner I appeared. My bad company called my name. Surrounded by food and 8 African women. "I thought you were dead or I thought you left and took my prized possessions...I didn't care. Lets finish the meal and leave." And so we did. Me in the 3rd row with 2 others. My bad company in the second row with 3 others

And the front row with 3 including the driver.  Bad company talked to the women on his right who danced for him.  I spoke to the woman on his left who sat in front of me. And the woman on my right engaged a stare. Reviewing pictures as we drove to our next stop that I had hoped was home.  The woman in front of me sharing pictures then introduced every one to me. The first 2 I knew the 3rd in the first row I didn't. The 2 on the right of Bad Company I didn't. The 2 to my right I didn't.  The night was dark but the streets were lit up by signs and clean from rainfall. We drove inside a lounge where the top of the car pulled back. The live music filled the room the audience sang along to the cheerful song and swayed to the reggaeton. A New World. Was it safe? As everyone exited the car... I stayed put.

The Wrapup 2018

Pardon my French but...." Quelle putain d'année?!"

 

Like a speeding bullet, it flew by didn't it? And true to the nature of a speeding bullet, to be honest, all I can remember is the painful moments. In my subconscious they far outweighed the prideful moments. However, I remain grateful because the cleansing that resulted from this is phenomenal. Not only the cleansing but the internal reckoning of power, purpose and passion, within myself is incomparable and priceless. I would go through all those trials again in a millisecond to be in the constant state of self awareness that I am blessed to carry into 2019.

The Uncovering

For some reason, in this year it was revealed to me the innate nature of all those I adored. I was surprised to find most of the people I placed a high value upon were well below undeserving.  It felt as if I was at a soiree, draped in my finest attire, smelling of frankincense, myrrh, and lavender. My face painted by the illustrious Sir Prater of Mac Cosmetics. My glass full to the brim with the sweetest of Sangria, my heart full of good intentions, my head inflated with positivity and pure intentions carrying me high above the headwinds and into the thickest of clouds. Then "Down goes Frazier!" I came crashing when it was realized everyone else in attendance with me was in a costume.  There were wolves dressed as sheep, clowns dressed as confidants, assassins clothed in a lovers garb , foes draped with the cloak of family. So never mind what I was wearing! I may as well had been buck naked. The taste of my Sangria soured and my deflated head sent me spiraling back to the earth just as I was halfway to heaven. I came to the realization that baring your soul genuinely is the opposite of freedom in the wrong hands. I was awakened to the fact that I had held in esteem the very hands of those who: reviled in my captivity, who coveted my security and sought to sully my sincerity and tarnish it with either their jaded view of life or jaded view of me.  But not all who launched assault were jaded some knew my nature to be true, and saw me as a target to aim their missles and went on offense. Perhaps a light in me shined too bright for their eyes. Who really knows? I've resigned to not try and figure these ones out. Enough energy has been wasted on them well outside"why and what for." Action was required.

The Separating Shield

Costumes forsaken, I had been attacked by the wolves and the assassins and berated by the clowns when I readjusted my crown and cleared the court. The late Maya Angelou wrote: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." The clearing of negative interference left me a bit empty at first. After all these were not strays or people I just adopted and let in. These were family, dear friends and lovers. People that I felt loved me simply because of how much I loved them. Let me be the first and hopefully the last to tell you: That's not how any of this works! Although I believe it should, it just doesn't. It is not a given that because they are family they will do you right. It is not a given that because you are sincere that they will be. It's not a given that because you will give to them your last dime that they would ever give you a red cent. It is not a fact that because you bend backward they will be impressed enough to move a muscle. It is not a given that because they know better they will do better! Do not ever make those assumptions that would be a fatal mistake. I've never been a pessimistic person and these experiences haven't made me one. If I turned my tuner to a pessimistic channel that would mean they all succeeded in stealing my joy. They did not! What they did do though, is held up a large mirror facing me. In this mirror I was able to see clearly that I hadn't been guarding myself with a complete suit of armor. I was leaving my heart completely exposed. They showed me I had forgot to carry my shield.

 The Ship of Thanks

The intent of these attacks were to chisel away at my buoyant spirit; with the hopeful intent to sink my ship. Instead it carved in me a discerning heart free from naivete. It sculpted a healthy consciousness of self completely free from undue or unworthy self sacrificing. It fashioned a form of energy that will not abide the slighting and cannot tolerate insincerity.

 In short those chisels have created a ship that is sailing into 2019. Yes, Kings and Queens this vessel is sailing into the New Year with no heavy (in every sense of the word) cargo.  And for that I'm grateful! My advice: Look at your vessel is there any cargo weighting you down? I know you may have loaded the cargo for the longhaul but it could be doing more damage on your voyage then it will ever do good once you reach your new fertile ground. Throw it overboard and let it sink to the floor of the sea! True to myself, I was able to find the silver lining and learn from pain. Now I can truly say looking forward with a new pair of glasses... my future looks very bright. 

Sail On
Peace and Blessings
Vannique

Friends or Nah

I watched this video today you may have seen, it recently went viral. I laughed 😂 so hard. In the video a teen is harrasing an older man whose homeless.  The teens "friends" egg on the teenager while filming to keep up the harrassment.

Lets just say this kid got what was coming to him... I didn't laugh because a teen was being disrespectful to a 1.Elder 2. Someone less fortunate.
I didnt laugh cause he was he got what was coming to him... Well i did laugh at that part too but that wasn't what got me... The most comedic part to me was the comments and reactions of this teens so called "friends". 

Sadly this teen was spineless and  a follower...not really the "friends" who were videoing/instigating.

I laughed hard till it wasn't funny. But I wondered why / or how he could trust people who CLEARLY steer him in the wrong direction for their own entertainment.

Some of my friends are probably thinking "hold the phone we know you've done some F$%KED UP Stuff to your friends for a laugh."  True but never with malicious intent or anything dangerous or radical. Or some of you may say " I know you've hurt someone..." My answer to that is your right.  I don't claim to be perfect. Like any human I've done things I'm not proud of but... in my heart if your my friend... Ill travel the 7 seas for our friendship & I'll never put you in harms way.

I actually found myself feeling sorry for this kid cause he's blind to the fact that the people he considers "friends" couldn't care less about his welfare.

What about you? Do the people you rock with... Rock with you??? Can you trust them??? Do you trust them??? (Take time to note those are two very different questions.) Do they have your best interest at heart? Do they steer you in a direction positive for your life, health, wellbeing and future. If you esteem the friendship. Do they hold it in the same regard? If not why continue to subject yourself to such treachery? Ohhh you don't want to be alone??????
Take that and forget it.

Follow a path all your own and it will lead you to like- minds, like-hearts and hopefully less drama.

THINK... about your circle who you allow in it, who you tell your innermost thoughts, who you break bread with, who breaks bread with you? All answers are really visible.. If you look / watch/study/wait/ you'll see.

Don't forget to trust your senses too sometimes, outwardly "friends" play "all the right cards" but inwardly you know they are somehow "cheating." It happens!

All that to say the company you keep makes or breaks you... So be cautious who enters... Be cautious who exits.. And don't be afraid to make changes to it. Sadly all friendships don't last forever.. Some do but all don't. This life we've been given is not to surround yourself by people who: could do without you, could use you, could lie on you, could lie to you, set you up, tear you down or think anything less than the world of you.  If you stayed around them you in essesnce do to yourself what they do. So free yourself because peace is priceless.

Back to the video if it wasn't enough that they set him up... And left him All THE WAY  hanging.... They posted it online.... JEEZUZ... CHECK IT OUT 👇 & share this article if u dig it!
http://m.worldstarhiphop.com/android/video.php?v=wshh9955oKR190087v32

What Does Friendship Look Like?

Having a real friend means never being alone, unless by choice. It means having someone to tell your deepest darkest secrets to and knowing its safer than the secrets in Fort Knox.

            It means never having to explain your inner emotions other than detailing, because the moment they see your face, hear your voice, or get in your presence they are so connected to you they know when your aura is off. They know you so well that, before you even respond to a happening they know what you will say, feel, think. 

           Friendship means support: emotional, mental, spiritually even. It means having someone to tell you truth even when you don't want to hear it but need to hear it. True friendship means loyalty, openness, love, honesty, dependability. It means open dialogue at any time of day, in any season, for any reason.

          I've always valued my friendly relationships and tried to display these qualities. That value came from being a Navy brat. Moving around a lot never promoted stability in a friendship. In fact what I learned, is that all relationships are temporary, even good ones. It's the lesson I took away from it even if its not true.

         I do know it's not true. I see people with friends from diapers, since they were 5 or 12 years old, long-term friendships. These relationships should be highly valued and those in them should consider yourselves

very fortunate and blessed. There are some who don't have that and have no idea what it feels like in a human to human factor.

          For those who don't have that and feel empty or alone I want to say:
YOU DO HAVE THAT FRIEND. 

        God is really all the friend you need. He hits every mark even down to the open dialogue through His word the Bible. There's no better friend to have, truly. Not a stronger one. Not one more willing or capeable to help in times of distress. Don't overlook that.

That's my sermon for today.
Have a good weekend!