I sometimes wonder if being in love equals being a fool. Is it the same thing? Every time I’ve had deep emotions for a person and they let me down (as everyone will, because no one is perfect) I regretted ever opening my heart. I look at married couples and honestly very few do I admire. Just about everyone I know who’s married has a grey area. I see or hear something about the marriage and immediately think “No friggin way! I would never put up with that in a million years.” But is the tradeoff being single? Or is there a happy medium anywhere?
I'm aware pride is for the fool. But haven’t you heard that “love is for fools” and” love don’t love nobody?” Or is my love button broken? Is it me? I truly can’t imagine being a fool for love. Then again, as I look over my past relationships, I have before. However, when I was playing the fool (as we all have at some point in time) I didn’t care! Being with that person meant more to me than the appearance of being in control. So is that what love’s about? Does real love numb pride and thinking capacity?
Pride
Honestly, numbing pride doesn’t seem so bad. Pride can be detrimental to any relationship. But who says which issues to yield on? I suppose that’s where picking your battles come in. Now can someone define for me where the line between pride and self-respect is? In my opinion it’s a really thin line that may blur when you’re in love.
Thinking Capacity
The moment that thin line is no longer visible, does your brain power flat-line? No longer do you care about pride so when your mate commits what used to be the unthinkable and serious violation the heart takes over and you’re like “I’ll never let go, Jack” ( in my best Rose from the Titanic voice). I don’t get it!? Again maybe my love button is broken.
I Wonder
Maybe, just maybe, I’m meant to be alone. Don’t misread me, I’m not made of stone. I desire companionship, a teammate, a travel partner, a counter-part (I don’t think we were designed to be alone, although we have the capacity). But at what expense? Is this “better-half” notion just something people idealize? Or is it that the idea of love is different from the reality of love?
Is the reality that, when you’re in love sometimes you’ll be irrational, sometimes you’ll capitulate, sometimes you’ll be a fool, sometimes you bend and bend and bend without breaking? I have to be honest with myself and say I don’t think I was designed to love, none of that sounds appealing to me. I think love maybe one of those things that you have to take the good with the bad.
