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Friday, June 28, 2024

Over & Out


My way out is cold small dark hole. I looked down into my exit today. It was pitch black, I felt no fear. Rather, it was inviting. Quiet and peaceful. Rest. Going in to get out. Going out to get in. My way out is a dark black hole. Calm and free of bussle… my heart need not be in one piece to take this route. I was told the ferryman would take both pieces of what’s left … it needn’t tick ,pump, beat, or bleed. Cold small box is freedom indeed… fertilizer…maggot feed…good for earth good for something at least grow weeds…1  undeniable deed… 1 seed planted indeed. Or take me to flames to hell with a box…always been hot…won’t matter soon … give the dust to Musk place it on the moon…All be over soon.


O- 

Oh really you care

Over it

U-

Universal family

Untimely

 
T-

Tired

Thoughts


~Vannique S


Wednesday, May 3, 2023

Truth of the Heart

​I’m embarrassed to love you so unselfishly, so shamelessly so very aimlessly. For there lies not a future, not a home for my love, not a rest for my weary heart, overwrought from loving you.

 Overwrought from giving you every ounce of me inside…dying to be with you on the outside. Incessantly outside your reach. Can’t reach your heart. Can’t reach you by phone. Can’t be in your presence… Someone else calls you home. Alone I roam covered in love reserved for only you.

 So embarrassing, because it’s nothing, all my heart and soul, absolutely nothing does it mean to you. I’m ashamed that I’ve carried on, parched, thirsting, for my life my love, untamed yet chained …my flame remains unchanged and you unfazed by my love or my pain, the situation unchanged. I’ve nothing left to lose and at this point nothing either to gain. 

I must be insane for loving you so unrestrained without reward … without a hint of a promise in store… without hope for a future… for being in love on my own…waiting for you but to you I’m not home…

Embarrassed and Ashamed 

Attached and unclaimed 

Delusional, deranged 

Crazy in love

Friday, January 13, 2023

A Flame- Winters Dream


I was set to battle an internet star who lived in an underground multi layered mansion. She was deranged, smiling, donning medieval style dress. A high collar with a powdered white face and long red hair. Curls galore. 


When the battle ensued, holding her 8 post candelabra with fresh candles lit, she attempted to bait me to chase her further into the lair and higher into the suites of the Mansion. As she donned a mad hatters deranged eyes and empty smile the tips of her hair caught a blaze . Her flight fanned the flames and ignited the artwork in the halls, the furniture, the suites themselves,  her taunting was her own undoing and all in her lair.

Friday, December 23, 2022

It's Time

Wrap Up 2022



Here comes 2023.


Here I stand with a complete and whole heart?


How can that be?


2022 Certainly tried it's best to undo me.


I came in with my heart broken in Half.


Cut ties with some decade old Friends 
Cut ties with some lifelong Kin...   


A farewell to a Fiancé months before nuptials.

 
I haven't included any trials and test but add them too and long before June.... My heart should've been in many more pieces than 2.


But what have we got here???


I feel renewed
I am at Peace
I am Serene


Happiness suits me despite trials...

 I wear a smile despite my test & YES I know the best is yet to come.
Joy is a constant even when things go wrong, 

&

I realized I needed all of this to make me stronger.


Strength, I have but not alone. I couldn't have done any of this on my own.


Thank God,

 without His guidance...

 I would have been just where the enemy wanted me... broken in 2022.

Here comes 2023.
Here I stand with a complete and whole heart.


Fully Armored
&
Ready for the next chapter to start.


Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Enduring Energies

The most powerful, meaningful and enduring  energies known to all life forms CAN be placed into action; maybe even materialized   … HOWEVER they ARE NOT material things but are at first unseen. Evidence of their invisible existence surrounds us, engulfs us even, every day:

Thoughts & Ideas 

Emotions

Vibes/Energy/Auras

Sound: Music / Nature/ Familiar or unfamiliar voices  etc 

Wind

Faith

The Spirit Realm 

The Almighty Sovereign Himself


We can\"t physically touch ANYTHING in that short incomplete list in this material World but ALL the things on that list CAN TOUCH YOU.

Can you think of anything to add to the list? Comment below

Peace & Blessings 

LIVE LOVE & TRAVEL

-Vannique 
AKA
LOTUS ESO

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Monday, April 26, 2021

AMORE SANTANA



We always knew #SHE was a #beauty. It was never her looks... though anyone with eyes would never deny that either
RATHER

It was her soul... her #heart seemed to be somehow even able to taste #sweet as the inside of a  #honeysuckle yet its consistency  is #Solid made of #Gold. 

We know #Him... never been guilty in life but shrouded by shame
Shrouded by hurt never able to show pain
Hated, rejected, feared, disrespected,cast aside, castaway, locked away in a cage. 

We know #Him..post battle Warrior still fighting an unholy, ungodly, and unjust War...a war fought prior to even his very conception...TRAPPED IN GOD\"S HONORARY BLESSING AND NATURAL PROTECTION. 

God saw fit
To fit together
The two of you

A Beautiful Queen
A Warrior King


LOVE IS NOT A DREAM




Thursday, April 15, 2021

Under the Sun

 




Blisters on my Feet

I almost Passed out in

that heat 

That Sun

up high

Shining...

don't always 

equal smile


It can beat down on your 

head if you're walking 

on miles 


 I learned to smile in the

rain. Deepened the

divots of  my dimples.

Widened the ripples playing in puddles.

Dodged the falls...

and pivoted

It's going to rain anyway...




That feels way better than my tired feet & back

Skin like hot leather under that bright sun that

DRAINED MY SOUL

TIL I HAD REACHED 

MY DESTINATION

THE SUN HAD NOT SET

BUT IT HAD SET ME DOWN

 

I tried to Smile

Blisters on my Feet

Sweat on my Brow

Hand Blistered & Bitten

I almost Passed Out in the Heat

Under the Sun.


Vannique

 TY Mr.Patron