Rescinded Invitation

You were there in your decadence.

The opposite of Heaven sent,

you embody and personify maleficent.

Far away from the benevolent

In shock I took you in my eyes. 

Wondering how you arrived.

You took me in 
with your colored glimmers 

& 

Smiled donning the teeth 
I'll always remember 

& 

once admired so dearly. 

I was surprised by you... 
as you were uninvited. 

But unlike then 

I knew 

 I was not safe with you. 

"Leave" 
is what I demanded! 

Then to my front door 
I escorted my old heart. 

Once you stepped out the door

it closed. 

The White Door began to bleed out 

Scarlet and Crimson.

Goodbye

Quell the Rebel

Quell the rebel within

Rain on a roof made of tin

Lullaby it to etermal sleep

Wrap it in peppermint and lavendar linen sheets

Do not dare to weep 

For this is not a loss

not a defeat

Found finally

Unbound to being lost

Absolutely Free of exhaust

The fare paid

The trail laid

Look! Follow the road 

Long ago paved 

Quell the rebel within

Only way to a sure fire win

Peace & Blessings
Vannique

Thrive

The Point Podcast
365°
THE POINT PODCAST 365°" on Anchor: https://anchor.fm/vannique-s?at=2129822

December 31 2017-Jan12018
A new years experience to remember.
I went to an NYE PARTY at a  Cambodian home. The joy, the fellowship, the smiles, the positive energy was incomparable and infectious. The crowd greeted my brother and I with cheers when we entered the room, followed by a swarm of drinks...Top shelf stuff Jameson, Remy Martin, Champgne but first..."medicine" at least that's what they called it... a root and herb mixture.. zesty tangy and looked much like a tea. They danced all night.. live music with singing included karaoke style and passing the michrophone. I sat and watch a man and a woman disagree push and shove and no one flinched... me I sat down and out the way thinking "Ohh no drunk NYE COUPLE FIGHT" then as quick as it began it dispelled. A passionate people indeed. They kept me dancing all night! Every time I took a seat somone else said...come on.... the men and the women! Everyone danced and sang into the 1st day of 2018 Celebrating life, celebrating reaching the marking of a new year others were not as fortunate to meet.
Then the dancing and singing stopped around 3... some had fallen asleep...others slept through the party and were now awake... they got out blankets and pillows and huddled together on the floors couches.. and talked for hours to each other... very welcoming and friendly people they
freely spoke to me as well. Engineers, day traders and small but thriving business owners. Each of them smiled while we engaged in conversation... not just because we were all drunk.. but it was clear they were actually happy. They knew a secret.. infact I walked in and the joy took over me... I was smiling... I hadn't even drank yet...A woman came to me and said... Why are you smiling... I answered because I'm happy and she invited me to dance... But even by the end of the night the sense of family, contentment, and joy prevailed. Net the final moment of my Cambodian Experience I spoke with someone who explained to me.. they were all family.. though marriage of through blood. They had come here years ago... Refugees from a cruel leader who had killed off the countries influential families including some of their parents and grandparents. The detachment from the traditional ways of their culture slowly increase however what they've created is a grand substitute for the real thing. They've made a choice to continue living and create a family, a community, and a legacy outside of the ones cast on them by life.

So what's the point?
The Point is... they had several excuses to fall apart as a group but they have thrived DESPITE the pain. SO THRIVE  DESPITE THE PAIN.

Listen to my segment "THE POINT PODCAST 365°" on Anchor: https://anchor.fm/vannique-s?at=2129822

What's Your Problem; Idiom?!

By Vannique

"To every action there's a reaction."  "For every cause there is an effect." So let's say your kids are running through the house; this is the action or cause. While disobeying your rule :"No playing in the house cause you could break something you or me can't afford, fix or replace!" (This includes their necks. ) The kiddos ignore you; and the effect: Knock over your brand new, big screen, hi-def, wi-fi, smart TV with 3D capacity. (I think those exist?) Of course, you opted out of the insurance/replacement plan because of the manufacturers warranty, and when you purchased the TV 10 days ago they said you could add it in 30 days if you changed your mind. 

At the register you thought to yourself "I should probably buy this for an additional $300" then you remember "schools starting and I've got other things to buy we actually need.... Nothing is gonna happen to it" As you recall this fiduciary and mental transaction, during the slow motion run toward the television that has hit the floor in pieces faster than you ever thought possible, You remember something else you learned long ago that you wished you would've recalled at the register: Murphy's Law: Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

So what now?  What's your reaction?  Some of you are just in tears unable to function (Its almost football season! Now how are you gonna see the NY Giants get the 5th ring for 2015? GO BIG BLUE!!)  Some of you are thinking of how best to punish the children. Yet and still others of you are searching for a solution to the current situation.  You're in correct the crisis mode. Analyzing, prioritizing, rationalizing, reasoning. This group realizes the meaning of the idiom: No use of crying over spilled milk. 

Its not that the issue is small. . The point of the idiom, from Vanniques view, is to be solution oriented.  Clean up the milk before it soaks into your carpet and smells of mold and spoiled milk. (More Problems!) Before the milk sets too long on your hardwood floors and ruins the finish! (More Problems!) Before a visitor slips in the milk and sues your pants off.(More Problems!) See my point here? By not being solution oriented then the one problem just expands to more problems. Not fun, trust me.

I firmly believe to every problem there is a solution. Though the solution may not be ideal. Though it may be progressive rather than immediate, therefore requiring patience which for some is difficult to develop; still there is a solution. What if you've run into   something seeming to be a problem that appears to have not a solution. There could be a few reasons why.

1.) You've declined the solution:

You have an answer but it's not ideal. It does nothing for your fancy. It eats at your pride  (which can sometimes be treacherous.) Although it resolves the issue it's not to your liking. So you reject it.

2.)That you've not exhausted all your options or possibilities:

Sometimes we get a one track mind to our problem and only see one way out.  This way of thinking can be an impediment to a solution.  Thinking fast, or fast-tracking to your solution is fine, and sometimes necessary. But at times there is not an obvious solution or a fast track and you've got to think outside of the box. "There is more than one way to skin a cat"....or so I've been told.

Last but not least; a reason to be reckoned with.

3.) It's not a problem at all; it's  an Absolute:

Meaning there  is no "solution". Its the way it is, nothing can change it. I'm not quick to put things in the absolute category because it can create a defeatist attitude, becoming a catch-all to every problem that arises.  Its important to be able to recognize the difference. With that said though this must be said: Absolutes do exist. If there wasn't there would be no "Serenity Prayer." Even with absolutes there are still options: Accept it is one option. Or reject it completely.  This meaning dismiss it, never to be revisited again. I'm not quick to do the latter either. If you're quickly dismissive you may overlook something. 

I feel all problems and absolutes bare scrutiny and analysis, to decide which they are and which road to take.  Scrutiny and analysis mean nothing though, if it's not in a solution oriented manner. So when facing a problem remember these idioms:

"Every cause has and effect."

"For every action there is a reaction." 

"Don't cry over spilled milk."

"For every problem there is a solution."

"There's more than one way to skin a cat."

And

"Some things are absolute."

When's the last time you had a really good time?

November 2014

My best friend, at the time, and I took a trip to my home town, Newark, New Jersey. My father was turning 50 and having a dinner party! It was a blast. Surrounded by family and loved ones, I got to show B. Scott (bestie) a ball in the big city. It wasn't conventional so to speak.  He had never seen the east coast so, of course, he wanted and truthfully I baited him with, Time Square, Greenwich Village, NY City night clubs and Atlantic city. But once we arrived, it was almost impossible. I was only there for 2 nights & 3 days I had to go visit family. That  would take most of the time. Truth be told I needed "tour guides" for the rest of the things I wanted to show my buddy and I thought to myself "How can we fit this all in?"

Well we didn't. The first night B.Scott got to see a little bit of Jersey the local life, but entertaining none the less. While waiting on a food order to feed over 50 people for the night, I saw something I hadn't had in years, and bestie had never had in his life, an Italian Cheeseburger (Google it.) I ordered one for us to split (I still had to fit in my dress the next night!) When the order came up I tossed to B.Scott a greasy brown bag and said "try this, but save me half" he says "you just gonna hand me a greasy brown bag and tell me to eat it?" My response was with confidence "You'll love it."
 Just outside there were city people living city life, the local club had people outside being loud and confrontational, the culture there is very different from where we live. The look on my buddy's face: priceless.  When we got back to my father's house, my father and step-mother, Jacquie, were having a house party. Nobody knows how to party quite like my Dad. I think it's where I got the itch from. Upstairs family and friends are feeding their faces, laughing and talking. Downstairs there was the music, playing cards (spades), the drinks, and more laughter. In the garage more people, more laughter, more drinks, and trash-talking. Where I'm from trash-talking is an art. There's a line you walk and it's a thin one. On one side it's funny, the other it's offensive. It's not for the faint of heart. My Big Brother Malik, and Uncles, (Amir & Phatcat, in particular) and Cousins wasted no time hard pressure testing my dinner date. He passed! The trash-talk flew back and fourth like a Venus & Serena match and in between every volley, outburst of laughter and jeering. That party lasted all night. That's not a figure of speech that's literally to state: people were still there after breakfast who hadn't slept a wink. I'm not one of those people. I went to bed and slept great surrounded by so much love, that sounded like a fraternity party.

The next morning, day 2, I had to make my rounds before the dinner. I visited my aunts and my Grandfather, whom I hadn't seen in years. But time flies when you're having fun... and don't really know your way around. So before we knew it, it was time to get ready for the dinner.

This was no ordinary dinner. It was a $100 a plate event, invitation only, equipped with open bar, gourmet menus, a fabulous DJ, and stunning venue. Ohh let's not forget the photographer who took some amazing memories that some like to call pictures. (One I'm not very proud of). We danced until they shut us down. Once that was over I got separated from my bestie. He was hi-jacked by my brother and his friends who no doubt took him on a  fantastic journey. I didn't see them for a few hours.

Back at Dads more laughter, cards, drinks (as if they hadn't enough) music and memory making. This one was an all-nighter as well. But again not for me. I was awakened by my Father, the next morning, who asked me to take him to the store to buy breakfast for the family, to him friends are family too, so I did. Dad and I walked the store, chatting about the party and picking up a country breakfast for the city folks: bacon, sausage, grits, eggs, biscuits... the works. We arrived back to Dads to find people still awake, to find people just waking up, and dad finally laying down. My Cousin Andre (Drake), his brother Heavy, and Jacquie cooked breakfast. My bestie and my Big Brother were still in recovery from the night before. But after breakfast it was time to go home. Sad indeed, 2 whole days was too short.

On the flight back home I felt a little guilty I hadn't taken him to Times Square, Greenwich Village, Atlantic City... none of the places I baited him with, but he seemed content. I asked him "How was the Italian Cheeseburger?" his response was one word "Fire".

That was the last time I had a really good time. But the point is it didn't take spending lots of money shopping, site-seeing, gambling. Although there's nothing wrong with those things, it took family, love, laughter and that's all it ever takes. So take time to make memories with your loved ones go have a really good time people.

Hey its almost November again! I'm overdue a good time. Well Kansas City here I come!

Shape the Clay

"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome" - Hope Floats

I heard this I thought to myself: Is it true? Then I wondered: If so how is it true? Why is it true? Why do these things stick with us?

How is it true?

As children we begin as lumps of clay. Pliable, malleable and impressionable. Childhood interactions, pains, happinesses, successes, failings, friends, our caretakers, our teachers  affect who we will become. Everyone that has a hand in our lives leaves an indelible imprint and shapes us into the adults we are to become. Each interaction molds our thoughts and emotions.

Why is it true?

As children we are powerless to our life and its happenings.  From the moment we are born until we reach the age of independence we are in a state of complete reliance on others for the bare necessities and essentials: food, shelter, clothing as well as mental, emotional and physical security.

Why do they stick with us?

We make the choice to hold onto the defects. Whether consciously or unwittingly, its a decision.

I've heard it said before that someone is "a product of their environment". Can a violent environment only produce a violent product? Can an impoverished environment only produce a poor product? Will an angry or aggressive environment only produce the like? Will a positive environment only produce a positive product? I disagree.

Admittedly, your chances of being shaped by your environment are higher than being shaped after something you've never witnessed or experienced firsthand but does it mean that it's impossible? I feel it's possible. Granted, if you didn't have certain things, it may take more time and effort to understand, to acquire or understand how to acquire what you lacked. But, after independence in its tangible physical form from whatever situation you endured as a child, the next thing you need is mental independence. The ability to think, and more importantly feel beyond your past. To recognize you're free from the mental or emotional bondage you may have endured. The clarity to realize the choice is yours to repeat the treatment, cling to the pain or let go.

You certainly can overcome, any shaping you may have received. Nothing about the shaping makes it permanent. Our decision to embrace the shaping or reject the shaping is the "hard firing". It may be that we have to decide to accept or reject that shaping on a daily basis.

It may be that we realized the defect long after its initiation, it may be we were oblivious to the defect until someone pointed it out. Whatever the case, once we know it's there we can't ignore it. Hard fire new traits, new habits, new outlooks make the choice every day to reshape the clay.

Traveler's Spirit

I've always had a travelers spirit. My first car was a 1991 Geo Metro light blue. I got it in 2002, I was 17 and silly. I took every and any opportunity to ditch school and drive it as far I possibly could. I would get to school before the first bell to fill the car with my close friends and we'd take off. I never took off with any direction to me that was half the fun... a full tank of gas and the radio was all that was needed. Most times my friends and I would end up in no mans land watching cows on a farm or something. But the adventure of it all thrilled me. Not knowing which turn I was going to take or where it would land me. I was fearless. I never felt lost, I had a good internal GPS and was confident in my ability to make it home always. My friends must've trusted me they came along for the ride and asked no questions.

Life's journey is similar in some ways. We never know what's gonna happen from day to day. Even if you have a destination, the road can have many detours.

Some detours can be taxing. Other ones tax free and worth it.

Sometimes our inner GPS in on point. We know exactly where we are headed and are certain we'll make it there. Other times you start out in one direction... Lose your place end up elsewhere and look for help to get back.

I'm not sure if being lost is even an actuality. I think of it more as a state of mind. A state of panic even, you destined on a place... You took wrong turns... Got distracted missed an exit.. Got turned around somehow.. But even if you don't know where you are, you know how you got there, chances are you can get back on track. Granted finding your way back to where you veered off could be harder than the veering itself. I feel though if you make it back on track the chances of you taking a wrong turn this time are slim. You're paying more attention now... you might veer off but you won't stray as far as you did before.. You may need to stop for rest, to regroup and replenish gas and rations... But then rubber meets the road again and your headed to your destination. You'll make it with confidence, fearlessness, being alert of your surroundings, not repeating wrong turns when you do get back on track.

By the time my friends and I would make it back to town. It always felt like we had only been gone for a few moments... Such is life. When you reach where you're supposed to be you want to be able to look at the journey and relish in the memories. Not cringe at the recounting. Don't get lost in that.  Rejoice in life's journey. Find beauty in everything. Treat life with the travelers spirit.

Vannique S.