The Shadow and The Entry

Theres a doorway you must walk through.. and you would except... you can't see what's right past the entry.. a little afraid to know you hesitate...procrastinate..and reject anyone who pushes you toward it. Everytime you move so does a darkness near the entry... What is this darkness? Why does it mirrior your moves?  You wonder will it consume you. Would you already be through the entry if it weren't for this darkness... Damn this darkness..curse it to the heavens...this darkness has declared war...and you have declared it your enemy...As you back away from the entry..the darkness grows.. now bigger than the entry itself.. you look around for help... you feel you can't beat this alone...when you turn you see a lamp brightly shining toward the entry of the door you must pass through.... the darkness is you.... you've cast a shadow over the entry and made it ominous...get out of your own way.

Friends or Nah

I watched this video today you may have seen, it recently went viral. I laughed 😂 so hard. In the video a teen is harrasing an older man whose homeless.  The teens "friends" egg on the teenager while filming to keep up the harrassment.

Lets just say this kid got what was coming to him... I didn't laugh because a teen was being disrespectful to a 1.Elder 2. Someone less fortunate.
I didnt laugh cause he was he got what was coming to him... Well i did laugh at that part too but that wasn't what got me... The most comedic part to me was the comments and reactions of this teens so called "friends". 

Sadly this teen was spineless and  a follower...not really the "friends" who were videoing/instigating.

I laughed hard till it wasn't funny. But I wondered why / or how he could trust people who CLEARLY steer him in the wrong direction for their own entertainment.

Some of my friends are probably thinking "hold the phone we know you've done some F$%KED UP Stuff to your friends for a laugh."  True but never with malicious intent or anything dangerous or radical. Or some of you may say " I know you've hurt someone..." My answer to that is your right.  I don't claim to be perfect. Like any human I've done things I'm not proud of but... in my heart if your my friend... Ill travel the 7 seas for our friendship & I'll never put you in harms way.

I actually found myself feeling sorry for this kid cause he's blind to the fact that the people he considers "friends" couldn't care less about his welfare.

What about you? Do the people you rock with... Rock with you??? Can you trust them??? Do you trust them??? (Take time to note those are two very different questions.) Do they have your best interest at heart? Do they steer you in a direction positive for your life, health, wellbeing and future. If you esteem the friendship. Do they hold it in the same regard? If not why continue to subject yourself to such treachery? Ohhh you don't want to be alone??????
Take that and forget it.

Follow a path all your own and it will lead you to like- minds, like-hearts and hopefully less drama.

THINK... about your circle who you allow in it, who you tell your innermost thoughts, who you break bread with, who breaks bread with you? All answers are really visible.. If you look / watch/study/wait/ you'll see.

Don't forget to trust your senses too sometimes, outwardly "friends" play "all the right cards" but inwardly you know they are somehow "cheating." It happens!

All that to say the company you keep makes or breaks you... So be cautious who enters... Be cautious who exits.. And don't be afraid to make changes to it. Sadly all friendships don't last forever.. Some do but all don't. This life we've been given is not to surround yourself by people who: could do without you, could use you, could lie on you, could lie to you, set you up, tear you down or think anything less than the world of you.  If you stayed around them you in essesnce do to yourself what they do. So free yourself because peace is priceless.

Back to the video if it wasn't enough that they set him up... And left him All THE WAY  hanging.... They posted it online.... JEEZUZ... CHECK IT OUT 👇 & share this article if u dig it!
http://m.worldstarhiphop.com/android/video.php?v=wshh9955oKR190087v32

What Does Friendship Look Like?

Having a real friend means never being alone, unless by choice. It means having someone to tell your deepest darkest secrets to and knowing its safer than the secrets in Fort Knox.

            It means never having to explain your inner emotions other than detailing, because the moment they see your face, hear your voice, or get in your presence they are so connected to you they know when your aura is off. They know you so well that, before you even respond to a happening they know what you will say, feel, think. 

           Friendship means support: emotional, mental, spiritually even. It means having someone to tell you truth even when you don't want to hear it but need to hear it. True friendship means loyalty, openness, love, honesty, dependability. It means open dialogue at any time of day, in any season, for any reason.

          I've always valued my friendly relationships and tried to display these qualities. That value came from being a Navy brat. Moving around a lot never promoted stability in a friendship. In fact what I learned, is that all relationships are temporary, even good ones. It's the lesson I took away from it even if its not true.

         I do know it's not true. I see people with friends from diapers, since they were 5 or 12 years old, long-term friendships. These relationships should be highly valued and those in them should consider yourselves

very fortunate and blessed. There are some who don't have that and have no idea what it feels like in a human to human factor.

          For those who don't have that and feel empty or alone I want to say:
YOU DO HAVE THAT FRIEND. 

        God is really all the friend you need. He hits every mark even down to the open dialogue through His word the Bible. There's no better friend to have, truly. Not a stronger one. Not one more willing or capeable to help in times of distress. Don't overlook that.

That's my sermon for today.
Have a good weekend!

Deception. Who's at fault?

Deception: The act of causing to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid

Written by Vannique
Illustration by Alexander Keeton


In this world it's all to common to see deception in many facets. Deception in business practices, in relationships; romantic, platonic or otherwise.

So who can cause you to accept something as true although it's false? My answer is: only you, only me, only ourselves.

See in order to be deceived, we must first be aware of the truth. Otherwise, it's not deception. If we never knew the truth to begin with we cant exchange it for what's false. So deception begins only when we know our potential mates aren't the one, when we've seen with our own eyes that this person we consider a friend has 2 faces,  when we were warned about doing business with a company... and have made the conscious or subconscious choice to overlook or pardon any red flags because of our own desires.

Desire: Sometimes Deadly

Our desires are sometimes treacherous being controlled by the heart and all. When our heart really desires something (even when borne out of pure necessity and not foolish wants) whether it's love, true friendship, money.... whatever it may be.. our heart releases a scent of desperation that some are waiting to take advantage of because it quenches their inner desire.

Eve was Deceived

Let us think about Adam and Eve. Eve was deceived. Although she knew for a certainty that she was not to eat from the tree of knowledge, she did anyway. How do we know that she knew better? When questioned about Gods commands regarding it, she replied in harmony with them. She quoted the location of the tree, the name and the trees purpose, that she should not even touch it, and the result if she had. Fully aware of the situation she still allowed herself to be deceived. WHY? Satan told her she would be like God. He even said she would not die. At some point in time Satan noticed the desire in her to be God-like. Its also possible that Satan was counting on Eve having similar desires as him.  Eve allowed herself to trade in what she knew to be truth for a lie.

How unfortunate. We probably think to ourselves... "Not me I know the sky is blue no one could ever convince me its not." And you would be right! Only you could convince yourself to believe the lie.

Correct Me if I'm Wrong but the Color of that Flag is Red.

What should have been a red flag for her? Maybe the fact that a snake was speaking to her. I don't know about you but the moment my dog (who I love dearly) utters one intelligible word to me, I can assure you it won't be a Disney Movie moment.

What about the fact that Satans' information vastly differed from her original information. After all we are talking life and death here. If I receive differing information on a recipe I keep searching until I've reached a sound conclusion. Some recipes aren't forgiving.

So the combination of her hearts desire and ignoring of the red flags were a recipe for disaster.

Relationship Types

Business

Have you already had doubt's about it? Why? Have you noticed any red flags? Maybe the breaking of appointments, the changing of prices, the avoiding of answers, the poor customer service. What keeps you doing business? At this point you've seen all you need to see to know all you need to know. The choice is yours.

A Faux-friendship.

You share your personal details with them. They may even share some with you. You begin to trust this faux-friend only to later be fully aware that they are a foe. How did you miss it? Were they're red flags? Did you ever hear from them things that didn't sit well with you? Most likely so, but you know your definition of friend and what you've seen, despite the feigning of true friendship, is vastly different. The choice is yours.

Romantic Relationship?

We are all guilty of wanting to see the best in someone. Good people look for the good in others and while doing so overlook major flaws and red flags. Flaws and flags that they would readily notice were desire not playing a larger part then logic. Romantic matters of the heart are especially dangerous. Even when all is well, we get caught up in the rapture of it all, swept off our feet, float on air, on cloud nine... All these expressions denote losing touch with reality. If you lose touch with reality in an unhealthy relationship... how dangerous? So many pit-falls!

I feel it safe to say that losing touch with reality and deception, in any situation, are one in the same. Overlooking the known truths and red flags equals: Deception.

Doctors Orders: The Remedy

There is a quote from one of my favorite authors, Dr. Maya Angelou that cures the possibility of deception: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

With that said it bears stating that no one human is perfect and at some point every person will fail to meet your self defined standards or expectations; even when they do love you or mean you no harm. Some may be unaware that they've sent up a red flag. Others purposely send red flags, speak cunningly, and play the game to see how far you will allow them to go.

The job of evaluating a situation in its entirety, comparing it to our set standards and known truths, acknowledging red flags and subtracting our hearts desire, belongs to each individual themselves. If your expecting a deceitful person to come correct your deceiving yourself.

Kansas City Eats!

Kansas City 

Let's start by saying...this is a  real city. Equipped with all things city:

#1) Traffic; the type where your exit can be less that a half mile in front of you but at 5:00 PM you'll wait no less than a half hour to reach it, the type of traffic where no one uses their signal...and even grandmothers cut in front of you with no regard for insurance rates.

#2)Major league ball teams: Kansas City Chiefs, Kansas City Royals. These fans are religious! I don't care where you're coming from or where you're going you WILL see the colors Royal Blue and Chiefs Red.

#3) Restaurants: This is what i really enjoyed! (Pretty girls gotta eat!) I searched for a restaurant that would take the cake..boy did i find it! 

ISLAMORADA (PURPLE ISLAND)A great dining experience it was, from the staff to the service and the food. The manager Jason gave us some background on this little known chain. Its humble  beginnings were in the Florida Keys. There they started only selling 1 item on their menu: A fried Mahi - Mahi sandwich. You can only imagine how great this sandwich is for it to have expanded to several different locations in the US. 

The Fireplace

One of the most appealing features  to the restaurant is the location. This particular location is inside the Bass Pro Shop in Independence KS. From the moment you walk inside until you leave out, even while your dining, the motif commands your attention. This restaurant is adorned with constant reminders of natures beauty,  a 10,000 + gallon fish tank sits behind the bar and has a 360° view of the fish that live inside.  A true sight to see indeed. Upon every wall and even hanging from the ceiling: Real boats, fish, real pictures of families and hunters enjoying nature. Reminiscent of personified lighthouses for sailors the lamps even have character. An 18 foot fireplace helped to cozy the corner that we dined in. It was literally impossible to take a picture of every beautiful thing I saw. Had I attempted this, it would have taken all night. As will talking about the motif.

The View Outside the Patio Dining Area
Lakeside

Ok so realize I'm not a photo journalist! But the idea is to give you an idea...the big picture??? You've gotta get there!!!

So let's move on to the staff: I waited tables for years. This, despite popular belief, is not a job everyone can do well at. Product knowledge, personality and professionalism is key...you do all this while still being a people person. The entire staff  from the manager Jason (who was approachable and professional) to our humble Chefs Ryan & Dylan, and to our server Chrissy (who took great care of us) had every component to make a great dining experience.  Even when our order came back wrong; (Jason don't kill me!) the entire team did not hesitate to make it right in a timely and streamlined manner. (Breathe Jason) Truthfully, it was handled so quickly and professionally it took nothing away from the meal, but it added to the experience. We got to see how they work under pressure. They broke not one stride! I've seen teams fall apart at the minor hiccups. Not this staff! KUDOS to you guys!

Store Manager
Jason

Chrissy
Our Server

Chefs!
Dylan & Ryan

The Food

Bread and Calamari

The best for last. This is what it's all about what the palate says to the brain right? I believe my palates exact words were "Yummy Hmm". To wet the whistle every meal begins with a loaf of bread. .slice of heaven excuse the pun. Seriously good! Think of a soft roll, now combine that with a little sugar on top. ..served with real whipped butter, all i can say is "Oh my!" For an appetizer I ordered the popular Calamari. Seasoned and fried to perfection this appetizer didn't disappoint. Some calamari can leave you desiring more crunch, more flavor, less chew.. these hit the mark. For the main course we had the Grilled Mahi-Mahi (that's served on a bed of seasoned rice served with steamed to order broccoli) & the Cajun Shrimp Pasta(this is Grilled Shrimp over Linguine and Cajun Alfredo  with diced tomatoes and green onions)  To be honest I still cannot decide whether I loved the Mahi which was over this amazing glaze, or the Shrimp Pasta whose sauce was one of the best I've had. I washed  all this down with a tasty Sangria Red wine: full, sweet and served with pineapple, and orange. My mouth is watering now just recounting my meal. Here's what a great meal looks like:

Cajun Shrimp Pasta

Grilled Mahi-Mahi

Sangria

Mouth watering yet????

All-in-all it was a great experience that ignited my sensory system to the max. The location and motif, the fireplace, the lake side patio, the 10,000+ tank, for the eyes. For my sense of smell and taste the delicious dinner: Calamari, Grilled Mahi-Mahi, Cajun Shrimp Pasta. My first time dining at the hidden gem: IslaMorada; a seafood restaurant in the most unexpected place: The Midwest. This was an experience never to be forgotten. So go ahead Kansas City fans wear your Blue and Red... I'll be wearing Purple for a while! Go ISLAMORADA! No, if you happen to find yourself in the Independence area of Kansas City or near any of the other locations... seriously people GO!

http://restaurants.basspro.com/FishCompany/

The Glass is Half Full

Not too long ago, I was thinking the opposite way. I could recount reason after reason to be dissatisfied with life. When you dwell on it enough they can add up and seem insurmountable. That moment in time was a real low point. I had turned into a "Negative Nancy". Every time I looked at the glass I saw it half empty.

Its the worst way to view life. No, I didn't have all my wants. Then I realized that wants are a constant. There will always be another want. It's not greed, it's just facts. Say if you wanted a vacation, so you take one. Could you honestly say that once you return home you'll never want another vacation? Usually if the vacation was good you want go right back! There will always be wants. They will evolve as we do. They will change as we do. You don't want the same things you wanted 10 years ago do you? In short, I realized the meeting of wants are fleeting and are never completely able to be met, as they change and the list has constant additions as we subtract the wants we satisfied.

With help of loved ones, I came to appreciate that I had my needs. And that's what counts. Most needs are universal: food, shelter, and a way to facilitate your needs i.e a job. Admittedly, needs do depend on the person. Personally, I had all I needed to be content. I also realized I was blessed to have more than the bare minimum. I had shelter, a newly built villa, never before leased. I own a car that, at the end of the day, affords me independence. Sure, it's almost 15 years old with over 100,000 miles on it but it's paid for. (Ok well maybe I do need a new car.) All awkwardly truthful jokes aside though, it gets the job done. Lastly, I do have my health. At this very moment I'm with a dear friend visiting her daughter in the hospital. As I watch this family interact in love I remember something that I never want to forget: it could be worse, it can always be worse and for someone, somewhere it is. Undoubtedly someone is hungry, homeless, lacking transportation, lacking gainful employment, lacking family, lacking love, lacking the ability to see a way to fulfill their needs, lacking the will to even live.

Think positive, be grateful and remember it can always be worse.

My glass may be filled with water and not wine. It may be only filled to the halfway line. It may be in a cup of plastic and not glass. "Vannique why is it you smile?" you may ask. Well halfway empty my glass is not...its hallway full, close to being filled to the top. Don't waste time focused on what you have not. Focus on appreciating what you've got.

Shape the Clay

"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome" - Hope Floats

I heard this I thought to myself: Is it true? Then I wondered: If so how is it true? Why is it true? Why do these things stick with us?

How is it true?

As children we begin as lumps of clay. Pliable, malleable and impressionable. Childhood interactions, pains, happinesses, successes, failings, friends, our caretakers, our teachers  affect who we will become. Everyone that has a hand in our lives leaves an indelible imprint and shapes us into the adults we are to become. Each interaction molds our thoughts and emotions.

Why is it true?

As children we are powerless to our life and its happenings.  From the moment we are born until we reach the age of independence we are in a state of complete reliance on others for the bare necessities and essentials: food, shelter, clothing as well as mental, emotional and physical security.

Why do they stick with us?

We make the choice to hold onto the defects. Whether consciously or unwittingly, its a decision.

I've heard it said before that someone is "a product of their environment". Can a violent environment only produce a violent product? Can an impoverished environment only produce a poor product? Will an angry or aggressive environment only produce the like? Will a positive environment only produce a positive product? I disagree.

Admittedly, your chances of being shaped by your environment are higher than being shaped after something you've never witnessed or experienced firsthand but does it mean that it's impossible? I feel it's possible. Granted, if you didn't have certain things, it may take more time and effort to understand, to acquire or understand how to acquire what you lacked. But, after independence in its tangible physical form from whatever situation you endured as a child, the next thing you need is mental independence. The ability to think, and more importantly feel beyond your past. To recognize you're free from the mental or emotional bondage you may have endured. The clarity to realize the choice is yours to repeat the treatment, cling to the pain or let go.

You certainly can overcome, any shaping you may have received. Nothing about the shaping makes it permanent. Our decision to embrace the shaping or reject the shaping is the "hard firing". It may be that we have to decide to accept or reject that shaping on a daily basis.

It may be that we realized the defect long after its initiation, it may be we were oblivious to the defect until someone pointed it out. Whatever the case, once we know it's there we can't ignore it. Hard fire new traits, new habits, new outlooks make the choice every day to reshape the clay.