For who?
When your feelings are deeply hurt,
how long does it take you to forgive? Or do you forgive at all? I will not
pretend it’s an easy thing to do. What I will say is: its necessary. Forgiving doesn’t make you stupid as some
might feel. Think of it this way, daily God forgives us if we are truly repentant.
There’s nothing stupid about The Almighty is there? Could you imagine if God
held grudges? We would all be in trouble! It’s my belief that if he forgives
the repentant on a daily basis, who are we not to forgive one another?
I didn’t
always feel this way. At one time it was hard to forgive, especially if I thought
you “knew better.” I would think: “This person doesn’t deserve my forgiveness!”
It was my grandmother who cleared it all up for me, she said “Forgiveness isn’t
for the other person, it’s for you.” How right she was! I equated being
forgiving with being weak. I equated forgiving with allowing someone to harm me
without doing the harm of hating them in return. Thinking about it though if someone
could have hurt me that badly in the first place, are they truly the type to
care how I feel about them in the next? Truly it’s hard to tell. Not every
offense is intentional. Ever heard the phrase “If you knew better, you would do
better”? Sadly, they may not know any better. However, for those that were fully aware,
who knew better, it’s not likely they cared to begin with. So by not forgiving
them, that emotion you so badly want to plague them with, only plagues you.
Another
thing to consider is, just because you’ve forgiven someone, doesn’t mean, you
are required or expected to repair or continue the relationship. It truly
depends on how broken it is and if you are willing to risk your heart and
energy trusting them once again. To you it may not be worth it. But the freedom
that comes from not holding a grudge and not denying yourself the peace of forgiveness
is priceless. It’s not for them, it’s for you. Forgive
