Over & Out

My way out is cold small dark hole. I looked down into my exit today. It was pitch black, I felt no fear. Rather, it was inviting. Quiet and peaceful. Rest. Going in to get out. Going out to get in. My way out is a dark black hole. Calm and free of bussle… my heart need not be in one piece to take this route. I was told the ferryman would take both pieces of what’s left … it needn’t tick ,pump, beat, or bleed. Cold small box is freedom indeed… fertilizer…maggot feed…good for earth good for something at least grow weeds…1  undeniable deed… 1 seed planted indeed. Or take me to flames to hell with a box…always been hot…won’t matter soon … give the dust to Musk place it on the moon…All be over soon.

O- 

Oh really you care

Over it

U-

Universal family

Untimely

 
T-

Tired

Thoughts

~Vannique S

KILIMANJARO

Theres something that won't let me QUIT
No matter how tired  I GET
Its something INSIDE
not PRIDE
Pride hates VULNERABILITY
What ever it is
APPEALS TO ME
"You quit now and youll be SORRY"
And so I keep GOING
Taking a chance
Jumping in the ocean
UNKNOWING
Whats BENEATH
is it the bottom for ME...
Or is it the coral REEF.
BEAUTY I pray it IS
DUTY to stay it IS
Mine
Stay ALTHOUGH I KNOW
It could be the bottom of the ocean
Stay knowing it could be the top of KILIMANJARO
Stay because yesterday is gone
Today is here
But theres no promise of TOMMOROW
IF i die at least I lived and did a life of what i loved
Instead of 1 I BORROWED

Nanas' Last Look

              

My feet were frozen in that spot, fused to the hideous green carpet in the stairwell of my mother’s apartment. As I watched the two paramedics struggle to wheel the large gurney through the narrow opening of my mother’s wooden trimmed apartment door, I went numb. Nanas' facial expression was one of complete exhaustion. Her body lay still, weak and frail and barely recognizable from the Grandmother I grew up loving. Yes, her hair was still in locks but now they had grayed. Yes, her skin still smelled of sweet lavender but it no longer had a bright shine. She had always been thin framed but now she was mostly skin and bones; outside of her distended stomach that gave her the appearance of being with child. The cancer had robbed her of the glow that was once synonymous with her. As I surveyed my best friend, I convinced myself if I didn’t tell her that I loved her that she couldn’t die. She locked eyes with me momentarily then as she rounded the stairwell she expended a flimsy but sincere smile. I just stared. I should have used the last moment that I would lay eyes her alive, to tell her just how much she meant to me and how much I did and still love her. 

Living with Life

Okay so your life is not perfect. You don't have your dream job, you don't drive your dream car, have yet to close on your dream house, and your boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is getting stale as week old bread. We have all been there. Some of us live there. While it's true that we are not in control of every outcome in every situation, what can you control? You. If there is a passion you posses, do it. The scale will come eventually. The major focus is to hone in on your craft, passion, abilities and continue to make them great, greater than yesterday and the day before that. You are what you do,. Express yourself. Expression is what makes people unique. No-one can express themselves the way you do, It's the beauty of being individuals. Don't give up on your dreams, Just try your hand at improving your situation day to day. Focus more on maintaining what you do have rather than getting more to maintain. Remember, progress is a direction not a speed. And get rid of that stale relationship. Jokes people! Seriously though communication is key.

Persevere

Expressions and Dreams

I'm certain that I'm not the only one who thinks the monotony of day-to-day life is painstaking. Who would not want to wake up one day in a beautiful paradise? I'm talking across the world, where they've never dreamed they would be. I guess those of us who have done it aren't as enthusiastic about it. For those of us who haven't...you have no passport... and if you do have a passport.. not one stamp to speak of.  We, yes I'm including myself, are dying for it. We are literally dying to live! What joy is there in that? None. So what should we do?

Find a way to live our dreams to support our passions. Me myself I'm what I like to call an Expressionist. I love anything that I have to create music, poetry, painting, photography. I just love to express myself artistically. But all my life I've been told ,erroneously, that I need to keep my feet on the ground and my head out the clouds. While it's true you cannot daydream all day long, if you don't dream at all, think of it... you're not getting good sleep. Have you ever given up on the dream? That's what I call a nightmare. No matter how hard I try I can't give up on my dream of being a professional, meaning paid well to do it, Expressionist. The 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. job scene, or 5 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. in my case, is truly not for me. It dulls the spirit. It kills the inner creator but it sure does pay the bills. I want nothing more then to travel go places I've never been, be inspired by those places to create something new fresh and positive. For now I'll keep dreaming there has got to be a way because there is a will.